notes&snapshots

itsalwayssunny:

Therapist: I’ll start by comending you guys for taking the initiative to help Frank.
Dennis: Yeah, we’re caring people. That’s our nature.
Therapist: What’s Frank struggling with the most right now?
Dee: Oo, he is trying to bang our aunt.
Dennis: That’s the big one.
Therapist: These things deal more with drug and alcohol abuse.
Dee: Mmhm.
Dennis: Drugs and alcohol are rolled up into what we’re talking about here.
Therapist: So he does have a drinking problem?
Charlie: Oh, big time, big time. But if I’m being honest, my problem’s less of the fact that he’s drinking, more that he’s doing it without me. Then I start thinking, “What’s wrong with me? Am I not fun to drink with?”
Dennis: Aw, no, no. Don’t do that to yourself. No, you’re plenty of fun to drink with. Trust me, Charlie. You get really, really drunk and then you get reckless and it’s a lot of fun.
Dee: So how do we go about doing this? Do we ambush him and then sort of berate him into becoming the guy we wanna.. be around.. or?
Therapist: No, no. You certainly don’t berate him. He needs to know you’re coming from a place of love and concern.
Dennis: Mn-nh. Too soft. I think we should come at him with an iron fist and crush him into submission.
Charlie: Right, right. And you know if we’re taking that approach, you might want to be armed at this intervention.
Therapist: Why would I need to be armed?
Charlie: Well, Frank’s usually carrying a little gun around and he doesn’t really hesitate to use it.
Dennis: Yeah. You know what? Have the gun out and ready to rock.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah. In fact, we’ll all have guns.
Dee: It’s just safer!
Charlie: You know what, if we maybe ambushed Frank with a net or some kind of rope device, the gun will maybe drop out of his waist belt—
Dee: You wanna bring him in in a net?
Dennis: That could get awkward, I’d say just—
Dee: Bring the gun.
Charlie: I don’t wanna get shot so just bring a gun, will ya?
Dennis: Bring a gun.
Therapist: … You know, I do offer group therapy.
Charlie: …yeah… okay…
Dennis: What are you doing? What is that?
Dee: What is this? What is this you’re doing?
Therapist: With all due respect, you’re talking about bringing guns to an intervention and you’re drinking wine out of a soda can.
Dee: Yeah.
Dennis: You put wine in the soda can?
Dee: You didn’t know, did you?
Charlie: Ohhh, you stole Frank’s idea. It’s a good idea.
Dee: Yeah yeah. It actually is a pretty good one.
Charlie: The man’s got great ideas—
Dee: He’s a smart man! That’s not what we’re here about.
Charlie: But I do feel like she just tried to intervetion on us.
Dennis: Did you try to intervene on us? Is that what that was?